It’s easy to say “have hope” but tough to stay positive in the face of difficulties.
By Ambreen Binte Muhammad
In the first part of this series, we spoke about the how grief is an unavoidable part of life. No matter how hard you try, you will face situations that make you sad and overwhelm you. Here, we share with you some useful tips inspired by the unending wisdom of the Qur’an and Sunnah to help you in your journey to a happier self, insha’Allah:
1. Change your focus: From your problem to theirs.
Allah blesses with piety to the one who relieves others from pain.
Instead of thinking of your own problems all the time, take some time to think of others and to provide them with relief. Also, remember, helping others in their difficulties could mean moral or emotional help, too. Try it! It will work for your sadness, insha’Allah.
2. Stop expecting from others.
If we fix this aspect in our minds and move on with life, all our complaints would disappear. Don’t just read this, try to make it stick in your mind by implementing this tip in life.
3. Discover the secret of peace: the Divine link.
You must have noticed that people who have submitted their will before Allah are the happiest. This is because of their link with The holder of hearts. Plan something — meet Him in loneliness; do some qiyaam ul layl at least twice a week.
4. Remove the fears of Non-God.
Stop fearing anyone except Allah. Because all benefits and losses are part of your qadr and no one among the creation can interfere with Allah’s plans. He (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) says:
أَتَخْشَوْنَهُمْ ۚ فَاللَّهُ أَحَقُّ أَن تَخْشَوْهُ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ
Do you fear them? But Allah has more right that you should fear Him, if you are [truly] believers.
إِنَّمَا ذَٰلِكُمُ الشَّيْطَانُ يُخَوِّفُ أَوْلِيَاءَهُ فَلَا تَخَافُوهُمْ وَخَافُونِ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ
That is only Satan who frightens [you] of his supporters. So fear them not, but fear Me, if you are [indeed] believers.
5. Trust your journey.
Allah says about Qadr in the Qur’an:
مَا أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ إِلَّا فِي كِتَابٍ مِّن قَبْلِ أَن نَّبْرَأَهَا ۚ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ يَسِيرٌ
No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being – indeed that, for Allah , is easy –
Make dua: “اللَّهُمَّ أَسْأَلُكَ الرِّضَاءَ بَعْدَ الْقَضَا” (O Allah, I ask you for contentment upon the decision of fate.)*
6. Think for the Day of Judgment.
الْيَوْمَ تُجْزَىٰ كُلُّ نَفْسٍ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ ۚ لَا ظُلْمَ الْيَوْمَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَرِيعُ الْحِسَابِ
This Day every soul will be recompensed for what it earned. No injustice today! Indeed, Allah is swift in account.
So, if you are worried because of the unjust behaviour of others, that someone broke your trust or demoralised you, just remember: a day will come when everyone from the old ages till the new will be gathered together to answer for their transgressions.
رَبَّنَا لَا تَجْعَلْنَا فِتْنَةً لِّلْقَوْمِ الظَّالِمِينَ
Our Lord, make us not [objects of] trial for the wrongdoing people.
7. Ask Al Fattaah (The Opener).
One of the beautiful names of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى is Al Fattaah: The Opener. He opens closed doors but according to His Own Wisdom and Plan. Trust Him (but tie your camel first!). Don’t think you are losing any opportunity — if a door is shut, another is definitely open. Search for it.
8. Make a plan.
Utilise your free time in something productive — read interesting books, write, paint or do whatever you are inclined towards. Create a schedule for yourself, set deadlines to finish tasks, activate your brain cells, push your mind. But make sure your activities are productive and worthwhile to ensure internal contentment.
9. Make Dua.
Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said that “Nothing could change Qadr except dua.”**
At another place He (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
“Dua benefits in the things that have happened as well as the things that have not happened yet. The calamity comes down, but the Dua confronts it and they may continuously wrestle until the Day of Resurrection.”***
Turn each worry into a dua and each dua into an action plan. That will show your commitment to your request and will focus your energy in the right direction.
10. The two stressbusters:
Seek help through sabr (patience) and salat (prayer). Leave the world behind you five times a day. Focus on your salah, make it more hereafter-oriented. Talk to Allah in your sujood, really connect with Him — seeking His Mercy, praising Him, and asking for His Forgiveness. We cannot control what happens to us but we can control our reaction to our circumstances. Patience is on the first stroke of calamity**** , and it helps us keep our attitude towards difficulties in check.
11. Cut the rope!
And here comes the most difficult step — Cut the rope. YES! Cut all those things that are disturbing you and breaking your Trust on Allah Kareem because He never deceives the one who trust Him blindly. I know its hard to let go, but you have to! Because this pain and tribulation today will be your stepping stone to a beautiful future. Trials are continuous in this life, so try to overcome them now to gain energy for the future.
Smile, stay cheerful and laugh because this too shall pass 🙂
*Sunan an-Nasa’i 1305, graded hasan (In-book reference – Book 13, Hadith 127)
**Musnad Ahmad, Vol. 5, Hadith no. 277; Sunan At-Tirmidhi, Vol. 3, Hadith no. 139; and classified as Hasan (good) Hadith by Al-Abaani in Sahih Al-Jami`, Hadith no. 7687
***Al Hakim (COULD NOT FIND COMPLETE REFERENCE, KINDLY CHECK)
****Sahih al-Bukhari 1302 (English reference Vol. 2, Book 23, Hadith 389)