A timely dua for your child is more valuable than anything else in their lives
By Umme Aiyman
Abu Dhabi, UAE
On reaching home, a father asks his son, “Dear Ammar, please get me a glass of water and keep my office bag on the table.”
The mom instructs the daughter, “Dear Fatima, please serve food to dad,” or tells her son, “Sadiq, dear you can go and play since you finished cleaning the dishes “.
Why do we take help from children?
Can a father not take a glass of water or keep his office bag?
Or can a mother not serve food on her own and clean the dishes?
Some parents and many children might think it’s not good to ask children’s help and bother them in their free time. But this is a command from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to be obedient and dutiful to parents.(1)
One of my teachers taught me a hidden gem. She said, “If we don’t ask kids for help we are depriving them of the good deeds they earn by helping elders in general and parents in particular.”
I experienced that at times by the prompt action of children we are extremely happy and pleased from the heart, the dua at this moment is worth more than a million dollars. This is the dua which is surely going to be heard. In a hadith, Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) spoke about how the dua of parents is not rejected(2).
Accomplishment of chores is especially important because it teaches basic domestic survival skills that will help children successfully and competently live separately from their parents when the time comes. This competence also adds to their sense of self-reliance and general confidence. It can also foster self-discipline and order, which are foundations for successful employment. And, chores prepare them in becoming responsible adults.
Some parents say that their children’s homework is their work and so excuse them from household chores. This is a disservice to children. When they grow up and begin to live on their own, they will be expected to work a full day at their job or college and still come home to cook and/or serve meals, clean the bathroom and do laundry. In fact, chores offer parents an excellent opportunity to teach basic life skills, foster awareness and responsibility, strengthen the foundation of family values, and build positive bonds with their child. (3)
Let’s explain this to our kids as well, so that they enjoy helping and serving their parents with the intention to please Allah and as a bonus earn rewards and duas that are worth more than millions.
- Qur’an 17:23 – “And your Lord has Qada (decreed) that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor reprimand them but address them in terms of honor.”
- Al-Bayhaqi; see Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2032; al-Saheehah, 1797.
- “Teenagers and Chores: Guidelines for Parents”, National Association of School Psychologists, http://www.naspcenter.org/adol_chores2.html